Between the diaper changes, feeding and lack of sleep, sex after baby is probably the last thing on your mind and most likely the same goes applies to your spouse. Though it is uncharted territory, intimacy between couples shouldn’t drop off just because there is a new baby in the house. Sure, things have definitely changed in your lives, but it is important that couples not only nurture the health and growth of their baby, but that of their personal and sexual relationship.
Intimacy Doesn’t Have to Only Take Place in the Bedroom
Just because there is a baby in the house does not mean that sex has to be limited to your bedroom. Sex after baby can still be spontaneous and exciting, especially if you and your partner don’t limit yourselves to one room. Consider having intimate moments in the car, on the couch or even in the shower. The thrill of doing it somewhere out of the ordinary can actually boost the sexuality in both of you.
Sex and Intimacy are Two Separate Things
Did you know that you and your partner can still be intimate without having sex? Sometimes partners need to rekindle their intimacy by first getting back to the basics: foreplay. There is nothing wrong with massaging one another or even taking a hot bath together aE” without having sex. The more you work to explore and get to know each other intimately, the more enjoyable sex will be.
Take Advantage of Nap Times
When the baby is down for a nap, you should sleep. The reason sex after baby is so difficult for most first-time parents is simply the fact that they are unable to perform due to their significant lack of energy. Therefore, skip the laundry and ignore the dishes aE” use naptime for naps.
Have Date Nights
One of the most important things new parents forget is having a date night. You both enjoyed your nights out before baby came along, but after baby it seems that date night has faded into the background. Instead of skipping your fun, hire a sitter at least once a month or even once a week and get out without the kid. Consider going to the park for a mid-day picnic or checking out the new restaurant downtown that you both have been dying to try. The more time out you have to just be with one another, the better.
Seduce One Another
When you and your spouse were first dating, you had to seduce one another. Try that again, especially since studies have shown that the more seduction involved, the easier it is to move from Mommy/Daddy mode into Partner mode. Try new foreplay methods with your partner and just remember that sex after baby does not mean skipping the lingerie!
Ask Your Partner
If you and your partner are still not having enough intimacy, ask what is holding them back. Sometimes it is as simple as lack of sleep or body image issues. By being open and discussing the hold ups, you can get back in business in no time.