How often in your marriage do you stop and ask:
Am I too pushy? Am I too controlling? Do I not ask for enough? Do I ask for too much?
These concerns are normal, but constant worries such as this can actually taint your happiness. Most relationship advice experts agree that if you think negative, you project negative. Acting constantly on confusion can create internal power struggles, dysfunction and ultimately self-sabotage.
In a marriage, you have to constantly work to keep it alive, but if you work on it bit by bit everyday, you’ll notice these negative and irrational concerns start to melt away.
Always Give — Don’t Just Take
Even if you think your partner doesn’t give enough, give more. Marriage is all about leading. When one gives, the other will follow suit. Giving, after all, is a form of positive reinforcement. If you give, your partner will be encouraged to behave in a similar way. Lastly, giving makes your spouse happier. When your spouse is happy, you’ll be happy. Every day give thanks, give compliments, understand better, give affection and even offer small favors.
Even if your spouse isn’t the way you want him to be, quit worrying about what he isn’t. He’s the person you selected to be with and you can’t feel angry or disappointed the rest of your marriage — unless you don’t want to be married anymore. Relationship advice experts agree that if you can try at least once a day to admire a quality in your spouse you love, you’ll start storing up a file of positives rather than negatives.
Ask and Tell
Too many couples forget that their partner can’t read their mind. If you want something or need something, ask your partner for it. Ask your partner for something every day, even if it’s minor. For instance, ask if your spouse will change the channel to a show you both can enjoy. While asking doesn’t come easy, it will if you practice it. Don’t be fearful of asking. If you need something, don’t make an excuse, just ask. The more willing you are to be open and ask your partner for what you need, the less you’ll find yourself disappointed you’re not getting what you want.
This week you can improve your marriage just by accepting, asking and giving more. You’ll be surprised at how quickly your spouse responds to the positives too. Relationship advice may be hard to implement at first, but if you take it each day, one step at a time, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’re able to improve your outlook on marriage and how quickly your spouse does the same.