We all have them – drama queens, exploiters and pessimist pals. Some are friends you have had since you were a child, others are those you have just encountered but can’t seem to break free from. While some of your friends are beneficial to your life and your relationship, others can be toxic. You know those friends, the ones who are anti-relationships, negative and basically do what they can to make you feel as though being in a relationship is the wrong choice. Naturally you want your friends to approve of your significant other, but if they get in the way of your ability to establish a long-term, healthy relationship, you may want to consider detoxing from these harmful friends.
Valuable Friends versus Toxic Friends
When you’re looking for the answer to what makes relationships work, you may have noticed that happy couples still have their own non-relationship friends – meaning friends that weren’t acquired as part of the relationship. You and your significant other should maintain your old connections and even make new ones. This helps boost your personal identity and is healthy. But, there is a big difference between a valuable friendship and a toxic one. So how do you decide?
- Do you look forward to seeing your friend?
- Do you hit the “ignore” button every time they call or jump to answer?
- Is your friend happy to see you?
- Every time you get together, does your friend only seem interested in you when they need something from you?
- Is your friend there for you as much as you are there for him or her?
The bottom line, if you don’t look forward to meeting with your friend or it seems your friend is only interested in you when they need something, it’s likely you have a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships don’t just hinder your own personal life, they can also impact your relationship.
Toxic Friends and Relationships
A toxic friend to a relationship is one that is negative about your relationship or even just relationships in general. This friend doesn’t respect your relationship or the boundaries that come with it. For example, you go out for a night on the town only to find your friend encouraging you to meet up with other men or betray your relationship in some way. If you confide in your friend about any negative issues in your relationship, your toxic friend may automatically dismiss the relationship or consider it a failure. While there are times a friend’s relationship advice is needed and perhaps can shine light on aspects of the relationship that are toxic to you, there are also friends that purposely poison your relationship out of jealousy or simply because they don’t believe in relationships.
You and your partner should re-evaluate your friends at least once a year. Consider a detox of the friends that don’t contribute or even those that are detrimental to your relationship. Of course, make time for those friends that do bring value to your personal and relationship life.