Relationships can often be complex and yet remain wonderful at the same time. Having a connection with another person is a feeling that most people long for and search for. Finding it can often mean absorbing it like a sponge. A person loves the way it feels so much that they can often get consumed by it. What happens then?
The one mistake people often make when they get into a relationship is that they forget that there are two people within the relationship. One person can often forget that they have their own hopes and dreams as well. So they walk down a path doing what their partner loves, supporting their partner to the point that they forget about themselves, in the end forgetting who they are as an individual.
Taking some time for yourself to do the things that you love to do is not a bad thing. Each person needs their own time and their own space. You both need to do the things that you love and remember that even though you have separate goals it doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve them together.
Having personal goals within a relationship doesn’t spell D-O-O-M. In fact, maintaining those goals and going for them can actually make you a better person, which means a better partner within the relationship. Your goals can be large or small ones. It could be something as simple as you want to walk 7 miles a week. That doesn’t mean your partner has to be by your side for those 7 miles, although that would be a bonus. It means you have a personal goal that you want to accomplish because it will make you feel good, but most importantly it’s something that “you” want to achieve for yourself. Having personal goals enriches you as a person. Again, remember that when you are a better person for yourself then you are a better person for the relationship over all.
You never want to look back on something and wonder what if. You also don’t ever want to let go of the things that you hoped to achieve before the relationship, because then you may look back and resent the relationship on some level. Plus if your partner is constantly achieving their goals and dreams while you put yours on the back burner for them, it can often build a wall between the two of you.
Take time to remember even the smallest things like your hobbies. If you love to garden then take some time to plant the things you love and tend to your garden. Perhaps you love working in the wood shop and building things. If so, then take some time to do that. Doing the things you love can be therapeutic and actually recharge you.
The bottom line is to always remember that there are two of you in a relationship, but it’s also important to remember that a relationship is made up of two “individuals.” Each person has their own goals, passions, dreams, and desires. Remembering that will make you a better person overall. In the end, the result is a stronger relationship that can withstand the test of time.