How Postpartum Depression Affects a Woman’s Sexual Desires

Having a baby changes a person’s life greatly. Not only because there is another precious person to take care of, but also because it affects the intimacy level of the parents. As if having an obstacle to achieving intimacy with the one you love wasn’t already a problem, when a woman has postpartum depression, the door to intimacy can seem closed. Numerous women suffering from postpartum depression have said that being intimate with their partner was the last thing on their minds.

The Mayo Clinic defines postpartum depression as a form of depression experienced by many women after giving birth. Some signs of postpartum depression include:

  • Loss of appetite
  • Insomnia
  • Suffering from bouts of intense levels of irritability and anger
  • Constant fatigue
  • Loss of sexual appetite
  • Losing a zest and joy for life
  • Feeling inadequate to be a mother
  • Severe mood swings
  • Having a hard time bonding with their newborn
  • Withdrawing from associating with family and friends
  • Numerous thoughts of causing harm to oneself as well as their baby

This mixture of emotions about life and about being a mom can be moderate or severe. So it’s only natural that sex is placed on the back burner. After all, when a woman feels inadequate, sex is not going to be the first thing on their mind.

The thing to remember is that suffering from postpartum depression is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy. A woman is not a bad person because she is suffering from postpartum depression. This form of depression doesn’t just affect the new mother, but it affects her partner as well. The severe mood swings and lack of interest in sex can greatly affect their partner, causing sexual problems.

The key to getting back to a normal routine is to first treat the depression. The root cause of the sexual problems has to be taken care of first, before as a couple the new parents can slip back into their normal sexual routine. It can take several weeks and sometimes months to get back to what both people deem normal, everyday life.

Once the issue of the postpartum depression has been handled, then it’s time to enhance that “loving feeling.” The first step is for both parents to get plenty of rest. Yes, there is a desire for sex, but if both parents don’t get the rest they need then the true enjoyment of sex won’t be there. Once both parents are completely rested, then they’ve got to make time for sex. Between working and parenthood, finding time for sex can be difficult but it has to be there. Even if both parties find 30 minutes in their day, it’s important to just make time to get intimate with one another.

If problems persist in the bedroom, then consulting a medical doctor may be needed. Most often, however, when both parents get plenty of rest and gently work back into a sexual routine, the intimacy level will increase.

Low Sex Drive: Tips to Increase Libido in Women

female_sexual_dysfunctionAfter having a baby, many women suffer from a low sex drive. While naturally having a baby changes the dynamics of the relationship, if a woman was very sexually active before the baby and now she isn’t, this can add stress to the relationship.

Is it Natural for My Sex Drive to Decrease?

It’s natural for a woman’s sex drive to decrease some after having a baby. Your body just went through nine months of change and now with a newborn and increased responsibilities, it can take a toll on your body. Doctors generally say that a woman can resume sexual activity after about six weeks of having their baby. This, however, does not mean that her sex drive will be back in sync by that time. In fact, it is going to vary based on the woman and her body as to exactly when her sex drive will be back. Doctors have stated that it can take a few months, or even as long as a year to get the libido back in full swing.

How Can I Increase My Libido?

To assist with increasing the libido and adding passion back into the relationship, slowly ease back into intimacy. There’s nothing worse than feeling pressured into having sex. So ease back into things by just reviving the closeness the two of you once shared. This can be as simple as cuddling up on the couch together or having a passionate kiss followed by a nice hug. Even something as simple as holding hands can reconnect you. Another option is to simply give each other a no-pressure massage, meaning the massage doesn’t have to lead to sex. The feeling of your hands on each other in a totally relaxing way not only feels good but brings you closer together. Sometimes these massages can stir up the libido resulting in passionate and amazing sex.

Another way to help your libido is to get plenty of sleep. When a woman’s body is exhausted, it is going to naturally affect life in the bedroom. This can seem difficult in the beginning, especially for first-time parents. Try to get between 6 to 8 hours of sleep when you can. When the baby takes a nap during the day; take a nap with them. This will allow you to feel more revived at night, when you may want to work some of your mojo on your significant other.

Get ready for sex. What does that mean? It means prepare yourself physically and mentally for sex. Many women suffer from low self-esteem after having a baby, which can affect their sex life. So take a nice hot bath to relax your body. If you’re someone who likes wine, then have a nice glass of wine. Wear something that makes you feel sexy. It doesn’t have to be a revealing piece of lingerie. Men have said some of the sexiest moments have been seeing the woman in their life in a T-shirt with her hair lightly tossed. When you feel sexy, it shows no matter what you’re wearing. So find what makes you feel the sexiest and go for it.

And last but not least, make time for sex. You need to plan time for the two of you. If you know your child goes to sleep around 9 p.m. every night and is asleep until 3 a.m. then schedule some alone time for the two of you. While scheduling time for sex may not seem exciting, the truth is that when you know it’s coming, you begin to look forward to it. Your body anticipates it and that makes it even more exciting for you, thus increasing your libido.

Having a baby doesn’t mean that your sex life is over. Yes, the dynamics of your sex life will change but it’s not over. Granted you can’t have sex all day and all night like you use to, but the intimacy, the passion and sheer desire don’t have to go just because you have a child. Using your imagination and finding ways to keep the spark in your relationships helps, and eventually you will see an increase in your libido.


Keeping the romance alive

ROMANCE 911: Keeping the Romance Alive through the Demands of Parenthood

When a baby enters the picture, the dynamics of your emotional and sexual expression are forever changed. The love between two must now make room for three. However, the love you will develop for your new family member will be quite different from anything you’ve ever experienced before.

Yet the reality is that most couples are under-prepared for the changes that accompany parenthood and sometimes, the impact is nothing short of an emotional crisis. Both your personal and social life change significantly, and any pre-existing financial challenges are further heightened.

Although much has been researched and written about romantic relationships, far less has been studied regarding how love changes between a man and a woman after the baby is born. The romantic love that brings couples together is an intense exchange between two people, but when a child enters the picture this exchange not only redirects its focus, it becomes one way. And because a baby’s demands for care are intense, this forever changes that bond as a couple as they become both partners and parents.

Yet it also highlights an important part of the intimate bond between couples – care giving- which has a great impact on one’s level of relationship satisfaction. Despite this, little attention has been given to this aspect of sexuality. Instead, the focus has been predominantly on sexual desires and techniques in achieving physical satisfaction. Read more