6 Secrets for Adding Spice to Your Sex Life after Parenthood

Getting married and having children will result in countless new responsibilities that can distract from the usual passion and sexual excitement of your kid-free days. Many new parents experience significant sexual dry spells, or they simply squeeze in 10 minutes of missionary sex once a month just so they can feel like they are not missing out completely.

It is not surprising that full-time jobs, household chores, and the constant caring of small children can easily spoil the mood. The trick is realizing that sex should not feel like another obligation or responsibility. It should be a desire to connect emotionally and physically with the person you love. Unfortunately, after you become parents, it will take a commitment to spicing up your sex life from both partners.

Here are six secrets for adding spice to your sex life after parenthood.

1. Go Sex Shopping Together

Some men may feel uncomfortable entering a sex shop, but it can be an incredibly erotic bonding experience. Try to openly discuss how you can use certain toys and pick out a special outfit. This shopping trip could also spark a passionate conversation about fantasies that could lead to an amazing sexual experience.

2. Watch a Sexy Movie Together

I know that some women are against pornography, but it really does serve a purpose. It can help set the mood and inspire new moves or positions. Try watching a naughty movie together before attempting to create your own.

3. Surround Yourself with Sweet and Sexy Smells

You may not be in the mood for sex if you have recently change a child`s diaper. Certain smells will interfere with your libido and make it difficult to get in the mood. Set yourself up for success by placing fresh flowers in the room or lighting sweet-smelling candles.

4. Find a Creative Spot to Make Love

The bed is not the only place where parents can be intimate. If your kids are napping upstairs in the bedroom (which is close to your own bedroom), then you can always try using the kitchen table or up against the washing machine in your laundry room.

5. Make Sure to Look Your Best at Night

Quite often married couples will come to bed with no makeup, unshaved face or legs, messy hair, and occasionally an unpleasant body odor if they don`t shower before bed. Someone may initiate sex despite how unappealing one or both partners might look and it is usually rejected. You can avoid this and spice up your sex life by putting some effort into your appearance. A quick shower, shaved legs, and some sexy lingerie can make a big difference.

6. Plan 30 Minutes to Spoil Each Other

It is hard to find any free time when you are married with children and even more difficult to find alone time together. Make sure to block off 30 minutes each week where you can be intimate with your spouse. This doesn’t need to involve physical sex and it may be more beneficial to your sex life if you use the time to kiss, cuddle, or give each other massages.

Always remember that anything you decide to do is acceptable as long as you are enjoying each other`s company without interruptions. Your sex life will eventually improve because it will reignite that powerful connection that you share with each other.

Keeping the romance alive

ROMANCE 911: Keeping the Romance Alive through the Demands of Parenthood

When a baby enters the picture, the dynamics of your emotional and sexual expression are forever changed. The love between two must now make room for three. However, the love you will develop for your new family member will be quite different from anything you’ve ever experienced before.

Yet the reality is that most couples are under-prepared for the changes that accompany parenthood and sometimes, the impact is nothing short of an emotional crisis. Both your personal and social life change significantly, and any pre-existing financial challenges are further heightened.

Although much has been researched and written about romantic relationships, far less has been studied regarding how love changes between a man and a woman after the baby is born. The romantic love that brings couples together is an intense exchange between two people, but when a child enters the picture this exchange not only redirects its focus, it becomes one way. And because a baby’s demands for care are intense, this forever changes that bond as a couple as they become both partners and parents.

Yet it also highlights an important part of the intimate bond between couples – care giving- which has a great impact on one’s level of relationship satisfaction. Despite this, little attention has been given to this aspect of sexuality. Instead, the focus has been predominantly on sexual desires and techniques in achieving physical satisfaction. Read more