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Sex Life After Children

sex and intimacyHaving children will likely result in countless new responsibilities that can distract from the usual passion and sexual excitement of your kid-free days. Many new parents experience significant sexual dry spells, or they simply squeeze in ten minutes of missionary sex once a month just so they can feel like they are not missing out completely.

It is not surprising that full-time jobs, household chores, and the constant caring of small children can easily spoil the mood. The trick is realizing that sex should not feel like another obligation or responsibility. It should be a desire to connect emotionally and physically with the person you love. Unfortunately, after you become parents, it will take a commitment to spicing up your sex life from both partners.

Here are six tips for adding spice to your sex life after parenthood.

Sex Shopping – Some men may feel uncomfortable entering a sex shop, but it can be an incredibly erotic bonding experience. Try to openly discuss how you can use certain toys and pick out a special outfit. This shopping trip could also spark a passionate conversation about fantasies that could lead to an amazing sexual experience.

Sexy Movies – It is widely know that some women are against pornography, but it really does serve a purpose. It can help set the mood and inspire new moves or positions. Try watching a naughty movie together before attempting to create your own.

Set the Aroma – You may not be in the mood for sex if you have recently changed your child’s diaper. Certain smells will interfere with your libido and make it difficult to get in the mood. Set yourself up for success by placing fresh flowers in the room or lighting sweet-smelling candles.

Location, Location, Location – The bed is not the only place where parents can be intimate. If your kids are napping upstairs in the bedroom (which is close to your own bedroom), then you can always try using the kitchen table or up against the washing machine in your laundry room.

Appearance – Quite often married couples will come to bed with no makeup, unshaved face or legs, messy hair, and occasionally an unpleasant body odor if they don`t shower before bed. Someone may initiate sex despite how unappealing one or both partners might look and it is usually rejected. You can avoid this and spice up your sex life by putting some effort into your appearance. A quick shower, shaved legs, and some sexy lingerie can make a big difference.

Planned Time – It is hard to find any free time when you are married with children and even more difficult to find alone time together. Make sure to block off 30 minutes each week where you can be intimate with your spouse. This doesn’t need to involve physical sex and it may be more beneficial to your sex life if you use the time to kiss, cuddle, or give each other massages.

Always remember that anything you decide to do is acceptable as long as you are enjoying each other`s company without interruptions. Your sex life will eventually improve because it will reignite that powerful connection that you share with each other.

Why Men are Just as Insecure about Sex as Women

Most men will try to play it cool and pretend like sex is no big deal to them. They initiate first contact, take control of any intimate decision-making, and act confident while they are having sex – so most women assume that they don’t share the same insecurities.

Men are just as insecure about sex as women, although many of them will not admit it. Even if you have been married for a long time and have enjoyed sex numerous times together, a man’s insecurities can still interfere with his performance. This post will explain men’s insecurities about having sex and how women can help them feel more secure.

Physical Fitness Insecurities

Men are insecure about how they look physically, especially when they are naked. Most heterosexual men find the male body unappealing and they are unsure why women are attracted to them. If they are overweight and not able to handle the physical act of sex without excessive sweating, they become so insecure that they think the woman must find them disgusting and want to stop. Assure your man that this is not the case. Women who want to receive compliments on their appearance should give their men the same compliments. It will improve his confidence and his sexual performance.

Fear of Being Rejected

Because men are usually the ones to initiate contact, they often worry that their sexual advances will be denied. If they are rejected too often, they will become insecure about even trying to have sex. If you are not in the mood or you don’t have time to have sex, make sure to tell your man that you still want sex with him, but you will have to postpone it until later on. Let him know that you will be waiting in anticipation just as much as he will.

Worried About Their Stamina

Men want to last as long as possible. They don’t want the woman they are with to be disappointed with how brief the sex might be or their ability to control themselves from having an orgasm. Sometimes sex will only last a few minutes, especially if it has been awhile since the last time the man has had sex. Make sure to let him know that you are satisfied and try to do things that may help him last longer, like slowing down your rhythm or changing position before he reaches the point of release.

Women are hard to please and a good man will do whatever he can to please the woman he loves, which unfortunately can create insecurities, especially in the bedroom. Make sure to build your man’s confidence and assure him that you are still attracted to him and satisfied with the sex life you share. It will result in better sex for both of you.

 

Sex and Relationships: Financial Struggles, Sex, and Relationships

Financial Problems can Interfere with Your Sex Life and Potentially Ruin Your Relationship…but it doesn’t have to be that way!

In sex and relationships, couples and financial problems often lead to disaster. While couples may not intend to turn their relationship into a power struggle over money issues, this is exactly what can happen when money becomes the emphasis and blame is displaced or blown out of proportion. It takes two to tango – both parties contributing to the financial problems in some way, even if unintentionally – and it takes two to work together to solve the problem. Arguing and pointing fingers only turns your once peaceful tango into a frenzied chicken dance. When financial stress threatens your relationship, it is time to look at the root cause of the problem, identify solutions, and join forces to get your finances on track and keep your relationship intact. True love does not die just because you experience a cash flow problem.

Financial Stress and Sex

Brain science reveals that stress of any kind can throw cold water on your once hot and heavy sex life. Moreover, with financial stress being one of the leading causes of relationship tension and breakups, it is definitely a stressor that can curb your intimacy, despite sex having a reputation for relieving stress. After all, it is difficult to get in the mood if all you can do is to think about your financial troubles and fight with one another.

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