Sexy Tips for Keeping Those Home Fires Burning

It is easy to let the passion and romance die out after several years of marriage, especially once you have children together. Your professional and personal responsibilities are so exhausting and time-consuming that sex starts to feel like it’s another tiresome obligation. If neither person is really that disappointed when intimacy is repeatedly postponed for several weeks in a row, then it is time to reignite those homes fires.

An intense sexual attraction was what initiated the relationship and it must continue to burn to keep the relationship alive. The powerful emotional connection and physical endorphin rush that two people share during sex are necessary to maintain a happy marriage.

Here are a few sexy tips for keeping those home fires burning:

1.      Look Sexy to Feel Sexy

There is nothing wrong with getting comfortable in a relationship. Most married people gain a few pounds, stop shaving as often, and relax a little on their pre-marriage beauty regimen. Just keep in mind that it is important to not let it all go and stop caring about your appearance completely. Your physical appearance still matters to your spouse and it should also matter to you. Looking and feeling sexy on the outside is a great way to relight those internal desires.

2.     Listening for the Signs

There is nothing sexier than someone who really listens and understands your needs. Make sure to pay attention to the verbal and physical signs your spouse is giving you. They may be trying to initiate sex and you are unintentionally ignoring the signs. Too much rejection will make your partner feel like it is not worth the effort.

3.     Add Spice & Spontaneity

You can quickly reignite those home fires by breaking out of the normal sexual routine. Catch your spouse off guard with a playful squeeze or seductive rub in public. Pick up a special toy or a revealing outfit that will spice up your next sexual experience.

4.     Try Role-Playing

Many couples find it hard to maintain the same sexual excitement when they are making love to the same person in the same position time and time again. Costumes and fantasy role-playing will create the illusion that you are experiencing sex with someone new.

5.     Make Time for a Getaway

It is hard to truly feel sexy in a house full of kids. Plan at least one night away together once a year where you can focus solely on satisfying each other sexually. If you can’t afford to stay someplace other than your own home, you should at least arrange for sleepovers with their friends or grandparents.

Intimacy is an essential part of any marriage. A long marriage may decrease the passion and frequency of each encounter, but it shouldn’t put the sexual fires out completely. You can keep the home fires burning long after you have children by putting a little more effort into looking sexy, listening to each other, being spontaneous, role-playing together, and planning a yearly getaway. Your marriage and sex life are worth the effort.

Sexuality During the Postpartum Period

sexandintimacyFor a woman, giving birth to a child is a tremendous experience. Giving birth affects women in various ways and on many different levels – including physically, emotionally and sexually. Many women experience a change in the way they view their bodies after having a child. Even women who are typically satisfied and accepting of their bodies have been known to feel disassociated from a body they feel no longer belongs to them.

Women are quite used to body changes as they have been in flux from puberty to pregnancy – and of course cyclically, from premenstrual to menstrual symptoms. Moments after experiencing the miracle of giving birth, a new mother may suddenly feel dominated by a body that does not feel like her own. The abdominal muscles may have difficulty functioning, which makes even getting up out of bed not the easiest task to complete. A new mom may experience episodes of urinary leakage, which is never fun to deal with. Her breasts may have turned from what was once regarded as private and sexual to more functional and indeed less private – albeit they play one of the most important roles in motherhood, to provide the necessary nutrition to the newborn child.

Each woman will react to these changes in different ways. Some think if they ignore these changes, eventually everything will just go back to what it was pre-pregnancy on its own. For many cases, this does have to some extent. Other new moms may obsess about their bodies, determined to return to that pre-pregnancy state as quickly as possible. However the reaction, both emotional and physical recovery from childbirth can be made smoother by accepting and loving her body the way it is, realizing that it needs nurturing just as her new baby needs nurturing. Take the time to learn and understand the changes that have taken place during this time period.

Along with physical body changes, there can also be sexual changes that may happen as well after childbirth. While some women can ease comfortably back into resuming sexual relations after giving birth, other women may find that they have little to no interest in sex (many women report decreased sexual desire during the postpartum period) and are often too tired to even contemplate sex. When some women do find themselves wanting to be sexually active again, they may find there is dryness (due to hormonal changes) and pain the in the vaginal area. The birth process may have left scar tissue and tears which can make for painful intercourse.

If a woman is feeling that having sexual relations is just another demand on her overworked body, it is important that she communicates her feelings to her partner, who may be feeling rejected without even realizing that she is feeling overwhelmed – emotionally and physically. Also during this time, women often crave physical and sensual touch from their partner, but not necessarily intercourse. This is also important to communicate.

Allow yourself as a new mom to really feel and understand the way your body is now working. Tell yourself what you love about your body. Treat your body (and spirit!) to a warm bath, a massage, or something else that brings you relaxation. Decreasing the demands that you may have made on yourself as a new mother (not to mention partner and any other roles you may have) will help to relieve some of the stress.

Real, Edible Aphrodisiacs for Sexuality

While a lot of edible aphrodisiacs have been proven to be just rumors, there are some ways that what you eat impacts your sexuality. If you are suffering from low sex drive, the issue may be your diet. Therefore, consider some of these libido-improving foods and see if that helps improve your action in the bedroom.


Oysters really are an aphrodisiac. Dieticians have long stood behind the rumor that these items increase your sex drive. So, next time you’re having a date night with your partner, consider adding oysters into the mix. Just make sure no one is allergic to shellfish.


Wheat Germ

Wheat germ offers your body a great deal of vitamin E. Research has shown that increased vitamin E can help boost your sex drive. It also works as an antioxidant that boosts your body’s ability to fight off free-radical damage. It can help women create more estrogen and balance it with other hormones so they feel better, have less headaches and don’t suffer the signs of PMS.

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Spicing Up the Bedroom (Erotica, Atmosphere, and Romance)

When some people hear the term erotica, their minds often go straight to the gutter, making the term synonymous with pornography. And while some couples do use porn to boost their sex life, erotica and porn are two entirely different things. In fact, those opposed to the use of porn in their relationship should not discount the value of erotica. It can help to enhance your bedroom, creating the optimal atmosphere for getting in the mood.

Erotica vs. Pornography: What’s The Difference

Pornography celebrates the nude body, much like erotica, but with a very strong emphasis on male and female sex organs and sexual acts themselves. Porn, while enticing and entertaining for some people, places much focus on sex, and often, the kinkier the better. Erotica, however, celebrates nudity as a thing of natural beauty. Erotic artwork is more impressionistic than blatantly sexual, even though it implies sexuality and definitely lures the imagination in that direction. And that is really the key – erotica, whether artwork or written work, is more about imagination, guiding the mood and increasing the libido through visualization rather than offering the imagery and sounds of pornography that leaves little left to the imagination. In fact, because the brain is working to create perfect imagery on its own, erotica could very well invite feelings of sensuality and sexuality in a quicker and easier, and even more intense fashion than pornography ever could.


Erotica involves setting the mood. In fact, you can create an optimal atmosphere by employing erotic art and statues, lighting, scents, music, colors, and more. While other aspects of erotica certainly exist, atmosphere is a key element in creating those warm and passionate feelings that lead to intimacy and lovemaking. It is use of the brain – the imagination – that ties erotica and atmosphere together. Everyone envisions the perfect environment for lovemaking. This is especially true of women. However, not everyone takes the time to create this optimal atmosphere. Sure, a couple can enjoy sex without it; but setting the mood heightens the senses, and there is no lovemaking more fulfilling than that which is accompanied by visualization, scents, sounds, touches, and even tastes. A room with mood lighting, candles, soft music, enticing aromas, and cozy sheets is bound to lead to a far more fulfilling sex life than the occasional romp on the couch.


Another key aspect that sets erotica apart from pornography is romance. Pornography focuses on the act of sex, erotica focuses more on romance. Reading erotica allows couples to visualize exciting scenarios of romance and love that lead to lovemaking rather than merely talking about or showing sex acts alone. By using written erotica to enhance the libido and the mood, couples learn how to set the atmosphere and to utilize sensual massage, conversation, and more to bring themselves closer to one another, creating an incredible bond, and spicing up their sex life. Some experts believe that it is the romantic aspect that makes erotica the best choice, and it is the romance and love that increases passion and libido, leading to better sex, and better orgasms.

Communication, Sexuality, and Intimacy For A Stronger Relationship & Better Sex

Communication is of the utmost importance in an intimate relationship. If you keep secrets from your partner, hold out about your feelings, or fail to communicate in any way, the relationship can break down due to misunderstandings and a lack of trust. Building strong relationships involves honesty, trust, and open communication. The same is true of intimacy with your partner. If you want a satisfying experience in the bedroom, you must openly communicate with your partner about your sex life together as well.



Sexual satisfaction means being comfortable with your sexuality. If you are uncomfortable with any aspect of your sexuality, your intimate encounters are bound to be less that satisfying. You and your partner must be willing to openly communicate about sex.  Strong relationship means knowing everything about your partner, and the topic of sex is not excluded from this. Partners need to know each other’s likes, dislikes, and fantasies. Whether you are inhibited or uninhibited in the bedroom, both of you need to know these things about one another in order to avoid crossing boundaries, to spice things up, and to maintain a satisfying sex life; free from misunderstandings because one or the other is too embarrassed to say “I like this,” “I don’t like that,” or “I want to try…”

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What Makes Relationships Work: Relationship Advice 101

To achieve optimum physical and emotional health, we must have rewarding and enjoyable relationships in all locales of our lives. Humans function best when they have an understanding and accommodating relationship environment. Single people search for the ideal mate, and those who have a partner seek ways to make the relationship work. This relationship advice allows you to nurture your relationship and find a balance in your life so you and your mate will be better satisfied.

Rules, Roles, and Rituals

Many of society’s social and cultural rules and taboos have already been broken down. Some of these guidelines are not even feasible for a multi-cultural society, much less a modern relationship. However, to have emotional security and safety in our relationship, we must have boundaries and rules. For many couples, relationship needs go unstated, leaving one or the other partner guessing. An principal rule to have is that each person expresses what is needed from the other. Another rule that is a crucial part of this relationship advice is that you respect what your partner requires, compromising when necessary and negotiating when possible.

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